As of last Thursday I was in the familiar but certainly undesirable position of pennilessness accompanied by, of course, extreme distress after another prolonged period of unemployment. I had been simultaneously questioning my sense of worth while trying to actualize the truth of transitory impermanence that, in reality, defined my unfortunate circumstances.
And then, serendipitously, everything turned around in a matter of hours: as I weighed my options — limited as they were — I received an offer for full time work. By the end of the day, after an impromptu interview that afternoon, I was hired to be Senior Writer for an Internet startup.
In a way it’s pathetic that my sense of panic subsides in proportion to the amount of money I’ll earn; on the other hand, it’s a relief to know that, while I certainly won’t starve, I can at least continue to survive and provide for my family.
Still, having lived for so long on such a tight budget has certainly been a lesson in frugality. And zazen doesn’t cost a thing… except maybe that you can start to discard illusions of what is real and what is just temporary.